This online memorial was created in loving memory of Olesya Novikova, whose life story is told throughout this memorial website. Please sign Olesya's guest book and let me know you came to visit. I will remember Olesya forever.
This child, so much, she was my life, my world. I was so afraid, to have the child, to be a father. I did not learn it, how to be proper father to a child. So much the terror, the thought to be a father when I was not ready. The day I meet her, she comes into the world, I fall in love, I feel love for the first time my life. She was perfect, all the time, she was perfect baby. Beautiful, and I would come home, I would wake her and sit holding her, just to look at her, hear her breathe, and know that my life, it is now begining, because she is in it. The first time ever she speak to me, first ever she say 'I love you Papa', it was most good day my life, ever. Never I had learned, that a heart, it can feel so much love.
Darkest day ever to me, the morning I wake, and she is gone. She lie there looking so asleep, so quiet and peace, and she is gone. It is, I feel, God reach into my chest, he take my heart with him. I do not know how it is, now I feel so much the pain, without my heart. It is, as that same day, I die, just it is my body does not know it. The world end.
It is now, so much, I want it, peace. I know it, never I will have again my daughter. I hope it, again some day, I see her again. And I know I must live, continue to live, right now without her. I want peace, I want not pain I have now. I want to feel her with me again, and to carry her with me, and perhaps to live with smile of her, not tears. It is of this I wish, I hope to, and it is for my beautiful child, to her from her father as the child, I love her still always, forever.
(Goodbye my friend, goodbye-Sergey Yesinen, 1925)
До свиданья, друг мой, до свиданья.
Милый мой, ты у меня в груди.
Обещает встречу впереди.
До свиданья, друг мой, без руки, без слова,
Не грусти и не печаль бровей,-
В этой жизни умирать не ново,
Но и жить, конечно, не новей.
Good bye, my friend, good bye.
My dear one, you are inside my chest.
This predestined parting,
Promises a reunion ahead.
Good bye, my friend, without a handshake, without a word,
Do not get sad or show sorrow with your eyebrows,
Dying is nothing new in this life,
But living, of course, isn't novel either.